Wisconsin rescue · Mérida resident

1.5POUNDS OFAUDACITY.

I'm Frijolito. Wisconsin rescue. Mérida resident. International rule breaker. I may be the size of a bean, but apparently I am now in charge of everything.

Tiny dog. Giant ears. Absolutely no supervision.

Frijolito, a tiny brown and white chihuahua with enormous ears, standing in silhouette against a sunrise window
Actual size: smaller than the soda you are holding.1.5 lb
1.5 POUNDS OF AUDACITYNO SUPERVISIONPROPERTY INSPECTORINTERNATIONAL MENACE1.5 POUNDS OF AUDACITYNO SUPERVISIONPROPERTY INSPECTORINTERNATIONAL MENACE
1.5 POUNDS OF AUDACITYNO SUPERVISIONPROPERTY INSPECTORINTERNATIONAL MENACE1.5 POUNDS OF AUDACITYNO SUPERVISIONPROPERTY INSPECTORINTERNATIONAL MENACE
Close-up portrait of Frijolito held in a human hand, ears wide, eyes enormous
No. 1.5The Bean
1.5 lb
Frijolito lying on a wood floor next to a soda can that is nearly as tall as he is
Exhibit A: the can lost the argument anyway.

File 001 · Subject: Frijolito

Small Bean. Enormous Resume.

My full name is Frijolito Bandito Alejandro Cilantro Chavez Johnson. I was born on May 16, 2026, and I weigh approximately 1.5 pounds, depending on whether I have recently eaten.

I enjoy inspecting suspicious leaves, managing the humans, supervising my giant dog siblings, violating unreasonable hotel policies, and expanding my territory throughout Mérida.

01 / Weight

Approximately 1.5 pounds

02 / Born

May 16, 2026

03 / Hometown

Mérida, Yucatán

04 / Origin

Wisconsin, USA

05 / Occupation

Property inspector and international menace

06 / Management Style

Aggressive supervision

The Story

How the Bean Came Home

01

I started out in southeastern Wisconsin, in a hoarding situation with more than 50 other chihuahuas and small dogs. Rescue Gang got us out, and they took care of me while I decided which humans would be worthy of me.

02

My future mom saw the rescue post late at night, on her birthday. She had volunteered and fostered with Rescue Gang back when she lived in Wisconsin, so she knew exactly who to call. That call connected her with my experienced foster mom, affectionately known as Tía Rachel.

03

Tía Rachel had questions. Reasonable ones. My new home came with two enormous Great Pyrenees and a swimming pool with no fence around it. So my mom flew to Wisconsin, met me in person, worked with Tía Rachel, and put together a plan to get one very small bean home safely.

04

Then I flew from Milwaukee to Mérida, Yucatán, Mexico, where my much larger life officially began.

Newborn Frijolito asleep on a green towel with a US quarter resting on his head
01Day one. The quarter was for scale. I found it disrespectful.
Puppy Frijolito sitting in a dark red fleece blanket surrounded by greenery
02Foster life. Blanket approved. Everything else under review.
Puppy Frijolito held up in a hand at the rescue, ears out, eyes wide
03The interview where I selected my humans.

Archive photo

  1. 01

    Rescued

    Rescue Gang, southeastern Wisconsin

  2. 02

    Fostered

    Trained up by Tía Rachel

  3. 03

    Homecoming

    Milwaukee → Mérida, Yucatán

Issued in Mérida, Yucatán

Adventures

Current Territorial Expansion

New reports are filed whenever something suspicious happens, which is constantly.

Frijolito standing in front of a window at sunrise, ear glowing in the lightField report 01

Sunrise Patrol

The sun came up without asking me. I stood at the window and made my displeasure known.

Coming soon
Frijolito lying beside a green soda can nearly as tall as he isField report 02

The Soda Can Incident

A can was placed next to me for scale. I have opened a complaint. The can has not responded.

Coming soon
Frijolito standing on a hotel bed at night, ears fully deployedField report 03

Unauthorized Hotel Operations

Their policy said no dogs. Their policy did not account for me. I took the whole bed.

Coming soon
Frijolito looking up from inside a grey travel carrier on an airplane floorField report 04

Travel Documents in Order

I fly under the seat, which is technically first class if you are 1.5 pounds.

Coming soon
Frijolito's nose poking out through the zipper of a closed travel carrierField report 05

Attempted Escape, Row 14

The bag was zipped. My nose was not. Reconnaissance continues.

Coming soon
Frijolito curled up asleep in soft cream bedding, lit by warm lightField report 06

Mandatory Napping Directive

Management requires eighteen hours of rest. Management is me. The rule stands.

Coming soon

Frijolito Approved

I Inspect Things So You Don't Have To

Products. Places. Snacks. Hotels. Human decisions. Everything is subject to inspection, and most things are already on thin ice.

01

Frijolito Approved

Rare. Earned. Usually involves a warm blanket or something I was not supposed to eat.

02

Under Investigation

Suspicious. Possibly fine. I will need several more days and unrestricted access.

03

Absolutely Not, Humans

Sweaters with sleeves. Closed doors. Baths. The list is long and growing.

A preview of my future reviews department.

Follow the Tiny International Menace

My territory is expanding daily. Follow along before I become impossible to reach without an appointment.

Links coming soon

Official Bean Intelligence

Receive breaking reports, suspicious-object investigations, travel updates, and occasional instructions for the humans.

No spam. Just intelligence reports.